We'll Be A Dream
by passion56321
Summary: The words reached his ears, burrowed their way into his head and bounced around like a child on a sugar rush. And his mind begins to wonder just what he has stumbled onto. Jyler! Rated M for alcohol and drug abuse, and sexul situations.
1. We'll Be A Dream

**A/N: In my defense, I have never seen the show. I've just seen clips of them on youtube and fell in love, so I started reading fanfics and fell in love with them all over again. I wanted to write a story about these two because well, yeah. Anyway I hope I did the characters justice, and I hope you guys like it. **

**I was listening to _We'll Be A Dream ft. Demi Lovato by We The Kings _when i wrote this.It's a great song. Its where the quote from the beginning and the end comes from, I don't know if it really makes any sense with the story, but oh well. **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing, but maybe plot.**

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_When the lights go out_  
_We'll be safe and sound_  
_We'll take control of the world like it's all we have to hold onto_  
_And we'll be a dream_

The first time Tyler saw him, really saw him (the only time he gave a damn about anyone else but himself), he was cradled above the graves of his dead parents. Tears streaming down his face, pleading for a way out of the spiral of hell called his life, which he had unknowingly dove head-first into.

He begged for forgiveness, with a bottle liquor gripped to the hand that wasn't wiping away the tears pouring from his troubled, blood-shot eyes (how fitting). He was probably high, Tyler had heard the rumors.

It was sad really, because before, when he had heard about the younger boy, it was nothing but good things. He felt bad, and sad. How could someone like Jeremy Gilbert, become so damned and destroyed and broken? It was heartbreaking, even for him.

Because even Tyler Lockwood had a heart; it was barely believable. But it was true.

He stood there a while longer, watching the younger male talk to the headstones of the ones he cared so strongly for. Tyler envied him a little, more so than he would dare admit aloud, for having parents that truly loved their son, and not because of his many achievements.

Tears threatened to escape Tyler's tired eyes, but he forced them back. He wouldn't cry, because he doesn't cry. But he does, he cries when he gets home, in the safety of his room. Cries for the injustice done to Jeremy and Elena, but mostly for Jeremy, and he doesn't know why. He cries because Jeremy has lost what Tyler will never have...parents who cared. He cries for Jeremy's constant alcohol and drug abuse. He cries till he sleeps, and even then he thinks of Jeremy; dreams of him even, and he doesn't know why. He just does, and it doesn't bother him like he knows it should.

--

The first time Jeremy sees him, really sees him, is when he gave him a sympathetic look, and a smile as he walks by at school. He doesn't know why, but it makes him feel better than he has in quite a while now. Fills him with a high, the drugs he is too familiar with could ever hope to fill him with. For a second he forgets about his problems, the death of the parents he shared with Elena. The constant nagging and worrying of said sister and his aunt Jenna. And the secret he keeps from not only them, but from everyone else in this god-forsaken town they all live in, and maybe just a little bit from himself.

He doesn't know why Tyler is suddenly so nice and sympathetic, but he wasn't about to be ungrateful. It was a very welcome change of pace.

All day he thinks of him and that smile, that damn smile that has his stomach in knots.

Maybe he should be angry, if only a little. Because he doesn't want this, because there was a one hundred percent chance that it would lead to nowhere.

Yet he still can't help the thoughts running through his mind. He thinks he knows that he should be bothered by it, but he isn't, and that's surprisingly okay with him.

Even as his head hits the comfortably soft pillow located at the head of his bed, he is still thinking of Tyler and his damned knowing smile. He dreams of it even, dreams that it means something more, something much more than he knows is not true. He's digging himself a deeper grave, but he doesn't care at the current moment.

Because in his dreams, that smile means more, than it does in reality. He doesn't want to wake up when he knows he should, to stop this useless thinking and dreaming.

Eventually he does. In reality they'll never be what he dreams of them being. He's okay with that, not really but he's trying.

In reality they'll be nothing together, but in dreams they will be something. Because for now, that's all they can ever be.

A dream.

Jeremy knows all too well now, and as he is flipping through one of Elena's old yearbook, he finds a picture of Tyler and whispers silently to himself, "We can't be what I want, so we'll be a dream. That's all we can ever be."

_When the lights go out_  
_We'll be safe and sound_  
_We'll take control of the world like its all we have to hold onto_  
_And we'll be a dream_

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**A/N: I really hope u guys liked it. pls leave a review. Constructive criticism is welcome. **


	2. Masochism

**A/N: So here is chapter 2. This is the reason I changed the rating from "T" to "M" because there will be another chapter or two, just like this one. If not more, well, MORE. haha, you'll find out why. Anyway, thanks to all that reviewed, it made really want to keep writing this fic. Also, I'm currently worrking on another Jyler oneshot. keep watch for that one.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing, but plot.**

**WARNING!: Hot boys touching Hot boys. **

**Chapter 2:**  
**Masochism**

The hot mouth on his belonged to none other than Tyler Lockwood. He doesn't remember exactly how they got in this particular situation, in all honesty he doesn't care. Because all he knows is that Tyler's warm and demanding tongue is knocking at the front of his mouth, begging to be let in. He desperately wants to let him in, and he does.

He parts his lips and when Tyler's tongue enters his mouth, there is no contest. Tyler's is the dominant one and he doesn't mind one bit.

The blood rushes from his head down to his crotch. Hard as a rock, possibly harder, and all because of Lockwood. His walls are breaking, and that's okay. He just hopes Tyler's impenetrable fortress of emotions is breaking too. It was the only explanation he could think of as to why Lockwood was here, in his room, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. There just might not be.

Jeremy feels his knees give way and he let's Tyler catch him. He was definitely not the girl in this relationship, if that was what they were at all, he really didn't want to be. But damn, Lockwood had ways of making you give in. He could make anyone submit to his will when he really wanted to and Jeremy Gilbert was no exception.

Tyler cupped Jeremy's neck and chin with both of his hands holding his mouth to his, not wanting him to go anywhere, because it felt way too good. He didn't want it to stop and neither did Jeremy. As was proven as Jeremy moaned into Tyler's mouth and unconsciously willed his hands up Tyler's shirt. Tyler moaned roughly into the now deepened kiss he shared with Jeremy.

Jeremy could feel every tightened muscle of Tyler's extraordinarily hot body, and he wanted to feel and touch every bit of it and maybe even throw in a few licks here and there.

He found a nipple and decided to play brave, if only for a moment, and squeezed. Tyler pulled away from their heated kiss, to wince and hiss in both pain and pleasure. Jeremy smiled, he knew he found a sensitive spot and was eager to not only come back to the very same one he was playing with now, but to also find more. Tyler smirked knowingly as well and pulled him closer still.

With no space between the them, both boys could feel the other's hardening erection that was shielded through denim. It sparked a flame between them that could not be quelled by any ordinary means.

Jeremy couldn't remember when the last time he felt so good was. He doesn't think he has ever felt anything that could come this close to Tyler. All the drugs could never come close to this feeling he was feeling right now. Tyler was the ultimate high personified by a thousand, and he honestly preferred it this way. Very much so.

Tyler's nipping at his neck now, leaving marks, branding, marking him as his. He likes it a little too much and Tyler knows it. Oh, does he know it, if Jeremy's purrs and moans were anything to go by.

Tyler's hands are roaming the inside of his shirt too now, and it feels good, better than the Christmas he last shared with his parents. Much, much better than that.

He probably shouldn't be thinking that, to help preserve the memories of his mother and father, but he couldn't help it. He figured he could just blame it on Tyler later. He found himself doing that a lot lately.

He found his shirt being pulled up over his head and silky smooth lips attacked his chest. A sharp intake of air and Jeremy reveled in the pleasure. He was pushed onto the bed, and a shirtless Tyler was on top of him, attacking his wide open mouth. Jeremy silently thanked the French for being so brave with their tongues.

He wondered how Tyler had managed to remove an article of clothing, without him noticing. Jeremy came to the conclusion that it was because Tyler had mad skills and he should just enjoy the topless Lockwood. And he did. His hands roamed wildly over Tyler's naked torso, not caring where or what he was touching, just that it was the older boy on top of him.

No longer supporting himself, Tyler let himself slowly drop onto Jeremy; bare hot chest to bare hot chest, the void between them shut closed. Jeremy's hands roamed Tyler's back, and he felt a twitch in both his and Tyler's pants.

The attention his upper body was getting, was suddenly not enough. The lower half of himself took pretense, it begged for attention. Tyler must have sensed it too, or maybe it was because he was thinking with his cock as well, because his hands traveled south, heading straight for all that was Jeremy at the current moment.

He was almost there, and just as the Tyler had reached the buttons, an over-powering light had shown through and it was gone. All of it, the cover of darkness, and Tyler Lockwood himself.

Jeremy opened his eyes and cursed fate. Because it had just handed him a cruel card of dreams yet again.

"These dreams have got to stop," he thought to himself, "I'm going crazy. Damn you Lockwood!"

As Jeremy willed his useless body up out his bed, to clean himself off after that very vivid dream, he cursed the day Tyler had given what he had not been expecting. He almost wished that things could go back to how they used to be. Back to the days where they hated each other. Almost.

As much as he hated to admit this to himself, he did anyway. He liked it this way.

"Maybe I'm a masochist?" He thought to himself.

Masochism: gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. The tendency to seek this form of gratification.

Yes, he most definitely was.

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**SnowAngelLunar - Congrats on being the first 2 review! Thank you for the warm welcome to the fandom, and ty very much for that delicious cookie. YUM! Your review made my day! I hope this caught your attention!**

**A/N: I really thought this would be longer. I've been writing these on my phone and then sending them to myself for final editing, so I don't really know how long they will be when they appear on the comp. But, whatever I'm happy with it. Like with _SnowWhiteQueen21's_ "Fire and Powder" short, powerful chapters are A-okay! Which reminds me, i still need to review that story! ****I hope u liked it! plzplz review!**

**-passion**


	3. A Mile In Denial

**_A/N: So here is chapter 3, i hope u guys like it. plz tell me what you think._**

**Chapter 3:  
****A Mile in Denial**

Tyler Lockwood does not, under any circumstances, have wet dreams about other guys. Especially not wet dreams starring Jeremy Gilbert. That's the lie he's telling himself as he's cleaning himself off from said wet dream anyways; a wet dream about the younger Jeremy Gilbert.

And this wasn't the first time he and Gilbert had a steamy rendezvous in his dreams; gods, no! Tyler had lost count at how many times this had happened, and he found himself rigorously, and religiously cleaning himself off afterwards.

This all started that night he saw him in the graveyard, drunk and high. He saw a side of Jeremy he hadn't seen before, broken, and it just about broke Tyler. He doesn't know why, but his heart aches when he thinks about that night. He wishes he could have helped him that night, to make him feel again, to be the one to wipe those tears away. To be able to tell him that no matter what, his parents would have loved him and forgiven him; unlike his own, whom could never compare to Jeremy's.

He also wishes he doesn't have these feelings, but he can't stop them. He knows why, he's just not ready to stop his denial just yet.

_**JYLERJYLER**_

Tyler knew school would be a troublesome pain, yet again, he just didn't know how much. Every time he sees him, he gets this sudden urge to do one of two things; stroke himself and not survive the embarrassment that came with it, not to mention the questions and the ridicule, and then there is the not so healthy alternative. Which is to just walk right up to Gilbert and kiss him, to tell him how he feels, to confess how much he cares, but reality kicks in and he just holds his breath and smiles awkwardly as he passes by. He prays to god he doesn't look like an idiot doing so.

Or maybe it was healthy; the kind of healthy that would leave him disowned and kicked out.

Jeremy smiles back and Tyler's breath is caught in his throat, he thinks he might suffocate from it. His heart stops, and his knees go weak, fingers twitch, and his toes curl. How he manages to keep walking, he doesn't know, but he silently thanked the universe for saving him the embarrassment.

He gets to his locker, Jeremy now long gone, and he let's out the breath he has been holding the whole time. His breathing is ragged and desperate, and his vision blurs. He holds himself in place as he leans forward against his locker. He let's his eyes close as he breaths in a strong and deep breathe. His heart is beating again, his toes uncurl, and the twitch in his fingers are long gone and forgotten.

He doesn't know how long he can survive the day, let alone the rest of his life if this continues.

He doesn't have much time to dwell on his impending doom, as the bell rings and he hurries to class, being careful not to be tardy again.

"Mr. Lockwood," his math teacher had called to him as he walked into class late, yet again, as if calling him 'mr.' would somehow make it more repulsive. It was more annoying than anything. "This is your fifth tardy."

Tyler rolled his eyes, as if he didn't know that already. "Sorry," he said, not giving a damn. A tardy was the least of his worries today, he couldn't really take this seriously.

"Well, you're going to have make it up in detention after school."

_**JYLERJYLER**_

Tyler angrily walked out the front doors of the school, "Two fucking _boring_ hours of detention! And for what? Ugh!" He cursed the day he decided to walk through cemetery to visit his dead grandparents, and instead found Jeremy.

He didn't feel like driving, so he opted to walk a mile or so, to clear his head, to figure out some stuff. Mainly stuff involving Jeremy, but he was still in denial about that. And he would be, for as long as he could.

He just doesn't think it will be much longer before he cracks under his own feelings.

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_**A/N: My current muse=Lady Antebellum. They will sort of be the inspiration for the next chapter. C y'all later. **_

**_question: is this chapter short? i really didnt think it was. but it really looks like it. _**

**_-passion_**


	4. The Pain That Flows

**_A/N: Dammit! its short again. oh well. first off-I am well aware that "numb-ers" is not a word. It is now. i just couldnt figure out how to say that sentence any other way. _**

**The Pain That Flows**

He brings the bottle to his lips and feels the familiar burn flow slowly down his throat and into his nose. It hurts and he likes the pain. He remembers why he likes the pain; masochism was his new fad. It reminds him of the pain that aches in his heart. So he drinks more; he's going to drink until the pain is gone. Until it flows well into numbness.

But it doesn't really work, not like it was supposed to. The liquor was supposed to halt his insanity, his unrequited love for Tyler Lockwood, and let him drown into the crazy ass world of alcoholism. It wasn't working at all.

Two hours into his drunken stupor, and his pain was still there, his thoughts and dreams were still fresh in his mind, and that definitely wasn't helping his groin either. Perhaps drugs were the better solution; the true pain numb-ers of society.

Jeremy decided against it, though he knew it would work better than the weak ass alcohol was, being caught drunk by Jenna or Elena would be bad enough. If he was high too? He didn't want to think about that either, maybe another bottle of whiskey will help him shake the thought.

He made his way from out of the room he was hiding in, away from the rest of the party. He wanted to drink in seclusion, so he opted to find an empty room and drink in peace.

Now that he needed a new bottle, he wasn't too happy to be leaving his little sanctuary.

Making his way through the hallway, on his way to the flight of stairs, he could barely make out the music booming from the bottom half of the house. It isn't a song he recognizes, but it has a good beat to it. He could very easily rave to it, had he felt up to it.

Jeremy's descent down the stairs was uneventful, to say the least. Just as he stepped foot on the floor of the lower level of this, otherwise, unknown place, he made his way to the kitchen.

That was a feat all its own, as there were an uncountable number of people in his way, and in there excitement to be drunk and breaking about half of society's rules, they either didn't notice him in their drunken state, or just didn't care to move.

By the time he made it to his destination, he felt wet and sticky. No doubt from the sweat of the drunken teenagers whom refused to scoot over, even just a little for him to pass.

It was a disgusting feeling; he would have been fine if it was his own, but it was the sweat of others and it made him sick.

He spotted a full bottle and made his way over. Being so concentrated on one thing, often leaves your mind to not be aware of your current surroundings, thus being the reason Jeremy had bumped into the last person he wanted to see at the moment. The object of of his affections.

His throat dried up, like the Sahara, and crystal blue eyes pierced into deep hazel ones. His heart wrenched and the butterflies in his stomach were fluttering around amorously.

It was a wonder he ever managed to find his voice, "Tyler?"

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_**A/N: I hope you guys liked it. Chapter 5 will be up as soon as possible. plspls review!**_

**_-passion_**


	5. Trying Confusion and Liquid Courage

**A/N: _This chapter was so much fun to write. Im loving the way Tyler is reacting to his own feelings. So I hope you guys enjoy it._**

Trying Confusion-Liquid Courage

The body currently pressed close to his, appalled him. The hair his fingers were entwined in were far too long and curly and filled with far too much product. The clothed chest breathing against his own, was far too lumpy and awkwardly poked him. The mouth his own was currently making out with felt foreign and wrong. The very thought of going any further with this particular appalling creature, made him gag. But he had to continue, he had to go on, all the way.

Because Tyler Lockwood liked girls, girls and girls alone. And not the likes of Jeremy Gilbert; or any other guy for that matter. But, not even he could believe that horrendously horrible lie.

The lack of a twitching cock was his first hint.

He continued his drunken haze of actions for a while longer, but as the girl in front of him attempted a hand in the front of his pants, he pulled away harshly. Pushing her unappealing form away from his own.

The taste of her cherry chap stick, and the disgusting taste of her lips and tongue stung and stayed like poison.

"Wrongwrongwrong!" Both his mind and body screamed.

The back of his hand was filled with it now, as he had wiped it away furiously.

As he looked up, his eyes were met with dull, unlively, confused ones. His breathing ragged, head throbbing, he felt like he had 2 get away. That was precisely what he did. Leaving the girl alone, confused, angry, and ultimately lonely. He could have cared less.

His feet carried him away, as fast as they could. He let them, not caring where it would lead him, as long as it was far away from her.

Walking into the party house, Tyler cringed. Crowds were definitely not his thing. Nevertheless, his feet carried him forward on, and judging by the direction he was heading for, he guessed it was the kitchen.

It took Tyler some time to get to the kitchen because the house was so overly crowded, no doubt filled to maximum occupancy. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, as he was letting his feet do all the walking.

He had bumped into the person he was trying so hard not to think about, trying avoid at all costs. Jeremy spoke his name, "Tyler?" It was a question of his sanity, and his voice was like velvet and silk, and the best thing he had heard all day.

Yes, Tyler was trying to avoid Jeremy. Trying, being the operative word.

The walk up the stairs was slow and awkward, he let Jeremy lead the way. The small talk they engaged in, in the kitchen was embarrassing as they struggled to hear each other, and themselves.

Jeremy suggested that they go somewhere else, to talk. There was an almost seriousness to his face, and puppy dog eyes that he couldn't resist.

He doubts he would ever be able to deny him anything. No matter what it was; and that scared him.

What did that say about him? Did he love him? Did he care for him? Does Jeremy love him back? What does this mean? What were they to each other?

So many questions, so many feeling unanswered and unrequited. It made his mind fuzzy and hazy, even without his drunken induced state.

As they reached the room, and Tyler closed the door behind him, Jeremy sat on an unoccupied bed and brought the bottle to his lips. That was where Tyler's gaze had landed; his lips. Pink and bruised and ready for him to take them, to bruise them even more and to make them his, and his alone.

That was when he knew he was going to be in trouble. That was the breaking point, for he now knew what he needed to do, what he wanted, what he needed and what he and his body, alike, craved more than anything. He slowly closed the distance between them, and he pushed the bottle away, spilling its contents all over the floor, and he didn't care.

He stared into the eyes of the on he craved, and that was all that mattered. He went in for the kill, crashing his lips hard onto the his soon-to-be lover's own velvety lips.

He silently thanked liquid courage.

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**A/N: I hope you guys liked it. plsplspls r&r**

**-passion**


	6. Crash and Burn

**_A/N: I'm back! Though, I do not know for how long. I have actually. already started on chapter 7. I pray I post it soon. But. the future is always fuzzy, and you can never really know for certain. I hope I didn't disappoint.._**

Crash and Burn

His lips crashed onto Jeremy's, hard, like thunder. He would have complained, if it weren't for the Tyler's uncharacteristically soft lips. But they were and he never would have thought that this would actually be happening, so he let it slide. And allowed himself the luxury of Tyler's warm, liquor coated lips, on his and prepared himself for the inevitable end of it all.

His breathing became rapidly ragged and you could hear the deep breaths he was taking in between the fiery lip lock through his nose. A hard task it was, to breathe and kiss with whom you feel so strongly for. Jeremy cursed love, if only for a microsecond. He thought of pulling back, to breathe in just a bit, but was too afraid that it might end what he did not want to. So he tried to concentrate on the lips pressed to his. It was a challenge he feared he might not accomplish.

To hell with it. he thought, and pulled away slightly to catch a bit of his breath. Only to be pushed onto the bed with Tyler landing on top of him. Only managing a tiny bit of air into his lungs before Tyler's lips were back to claiming his, and his body was weak to resist. Not that he really wanted to. But he liked to think that if he really, really wanted to, he could. That he would have enough pride, and willpower to do so. He wondered just how many times he was going to be lying to himself tonight.

Probably the entire night, and well into the morning...

Hands roamed, and adventured under his thin shirt. Tyler was being very forward, and it bewildered Jeremy.

He figured that Tyler would be confused over the kiss, and would want to pull away and call it a mistake the moment he did. That he would open with idle threats to never speak of it again, which Jeremy would have said yes to, by the way. Why would he repeat to the world, that Tyler Lockwood had broken his heart.

But he didn't pull away, he stayed, and if Jeremy didn't know any better, he would say that he was craving it. The way the boy atop of him was feeling him up, and tasting him with such vigor, Jeremy would say Tyler has been wanting this...bad. For quite a while, perhaps almost as much as he had himself.

He was wrenched from his thoughts as a hand made its way into the front his pants, and his cock twitched, and something snapped inside him. The palms of his hands met with both the softness of Tyler's shirt and the hardness of his chest, and pushed him away, as one word sped past his lips, "No." Effectively sending him crashing onto the floor beneath them.

"What the hell!" was all Tyler said, in a breathless voice.

Both boys panting hard, exhaustion finally hitting them.

"No, not like this," the words flew put of Jeremy's mouth, and he found that he did not want to stop them.

A look of pure confusion passed over Tyler's face, "Not like what?"

After one sigh of frustration, Jeremy couldn't handle it anymore, and made a break for the door.

Tyler didn't run after him, and that all but confirmed his fears.

He didn't want what he wanted, he just wanted sex. And now that Jeremy had refused him, he hadn't cared one bit, and was now free to find someone else to be with someone else.

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**_A/N: So? Well, I think you know the drill. r&r pweety pwease!  
_**


	7. Through The Motions

_**A/N: Update! Kudos to me. Sorry for the long wait, I know quite a few people have been waiting rather impatiently for it. So here it is, chapter 7. Are u as excited about it as I am? Maybe. **_

_**I wrote the first three chapters MONTHS ago, and I couldn't find a way to continue it. And when I finally did, I wrote the remainder of this chapter, like yesterday and today putting everything together. **_

_**Oh, and I would really be grateful if you guys would comment on my writing (skills). Like if they have improved, downgraded...yada yada yada. It would just be really beneficial to, not only this story, but to my many others if you could take the time to tell me what you think.**_

_**Enjoi! r&r**_

**Through The Motions**

Fuck!

That was the word that Tyler had resigned himself to, in describing the events that had played out only a few minutes ago. His lips-still burned and bruised from the battle of tongues and mouth; his tongue singed with a taste-a flavor, that was just so Jeremy Gilbert. To part with something so divine, so ethereal would have been an act of pure sin. He hadn't dared to wipe it away from his drooling mouth. He couldn't; just couldn't.

Despite his rather drunken state, Tyler hadn't regretted his random, and albeit somewhat stupid decision (or perhaps it was an impulse) to kiss Jeremy. Because the end result was worth it, maybe not the part where Jeremy had refused him and left him alone with his feelings, but the part where Tyler had a definite, no bullshit answer to his true feelings for the younger boy and he was now ready to act on them; that was the part that was worth it all.

He sat up from his previous position on the floor, where he had fallen on his back when Jeremy had pushed him off of him, and buried his face in his hands.

Fuck!

He cursed under his breath, after passing him in the hall. Jeremy wouldn't even look at him now. How he missed that smile.

There was a pain his chest that he didn't even know existed on this plane of reality. He had an inkling to what could be causing the pain, but he was certain that it wasn't that. Because those kinds of things only happened in stories and books, and most likely Shakespeare, and those things weren't real. Despite the fact that what he felt for Jeremy proved otherwise.

A ringing noise resounded in his head and it took him a minute to figure out that it was the bell, telling him that he had to get to class. In order to avoid another meaningless detention he scurried off to class and decided that he would resolve the issue in his chest at a later, more convenient time. Tyler was thinking among the lines of never, but he knew that wouldn't last.

Fuck!

"What the hell am I doing?"

He was currently in the yard of the Gilbert residence, staring up at the lightened window that belonged to Jeremy's bedroom. He was contemplating whether he should find a way to climb up the side of the house to his window. To...

"To what? Scare the hell out of him?" he berated himself, "Fuck! This is fucking stupid!" Tyler walked away into the darkness defeated, emotionally and physically (those many sleepless nights were taking its toll on him).

Fuck!

Two weeks later and that pain in his chest had yet to subside; not that he really wanted it to. It just would have been nice to not have it reminding him of his mistake with Jeremy every second of the day. You couldn't really call ones actions a mistake, only if said action was regretted, which it wasn't. Tyler loved it, in fact. He just wishes that Jeremy hadn't reacted the way that he did.

If he had asked Tyler to stop, he would have – at least he liked to think so. Maybe if they had, had a chance to talk it over, to see where the other was coming from, their lives might be a thousand times more bearable than it was.

Though, he couldn't tell for sure, as he had no way of knowing seeing as Jeremy wasn't on speaking terms with him; but there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that Jeremy was just as miserable as he was. If not more, considering the way he had reacted that night.

Fuck!

When he gets home that afternoon, after yet another dejected day of academic _bliss_, he begins to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have been so forward (pushy, feral, whatever you wanted to call it, he was only acting on instinct), if he had thought about what he wanted to do, what his body wanted – needed, craved – and discussed it with Jeremy like he knows now that he should have; perhaps they wouldn't be in this particular situation.

He begins to think that if he had done so in the first place, maybe he and Jeremy would together now. Somewhere in each others' arms, touching, kissing, discovering what there was to uncover about each other. Exploring the endless possibilities of their relationship.

But mostly he thought of Jeremy's touch (the way it singed it skin and permanently imprinting it shadowy self into his flesh), and the feel of his lips on his own (like fire). The smell of him, and how it burned into his nostrils. That alone would have sufficed. For him to come to the conclusion that he has now resolved himself to.

He was going to do what he had to do to get Gilbert. To have him, to hold him, smell him, touch him, kiss him. He didn't have a plan, he was hoping one would present itself when the time came. He hoped, he dreamed, and he wished it would go his way this time. If not for him, then for Jeremy.

Fuck!

He had prepared a total three days for this fateful encounter. As he approached the one he knew that he needed in order to breathe right again, he saw his beautiful face. That shocked, beautiful face attached to the body that was ready to pounce out of his way any second.

And that was it. He finally knew what that pain in his chest was, and why it had ached and hurt him so much. What he thought was only in movies and silly romantic novels he mother used to read before she began to sauced all day every day. And that was one word: Love.

He was in love with Jeremy.

Jeremy hadn't moved, because maybe he felt it too. That this conversation would either be the end of what they have both wanted, neglected, and denied themselves for so long; or be the very beginning of it all.

"I love you," was the first words spoken.


	8. What Just Happened?

**_A/N: So, here I am. Back. for at least three more chapters. And hey, look, I'm actually writing dialogue. Go figure. I could have sworn that this was a lot longer than it actually is. Argh! Whatever. At least its progressing, and I am so sorry for the long delay. I could come up with like a thousand plausible/implausible reason/excuses as to why. But what would the point, right? You know its just laziness and pure writer's block. _**

**_A lot is going to be happening, and there is going to be some actual human interaction. Not all just thoughts and wishes and dreams and such. I promise. _**

**_This story is pretty much taking a different turn from when I first started like way too long ago. But I think it's for the best. And I think that you would agree with me, yeah? I hope you like it._**

**_Not much happens here, but then, a whole lot of stuff actually does. Pls R&R. Would be greatly appreciated.  
_**

* * *

**_What Just Happened?_ **

"Did you hear what I said, Jeremy?" he asks.

Of course he fucking heard him. How could he not have? It's what he's been wanting for the longest time now, well what felt like the longest time.

Jeremy blinks, just blinks because that's the only thing he _can _do right now. He can't move, can't breathe, can't stand. Those three words too much. His entire soul and being are in a state of shock.

A tiny little breeze could swoosh on by and he was sure that he would topple over just from that.

"Jeremy," Tyler repeats, more worry eminent in his voice, "say something. Anything. Please." His voice is pleading, concerned to a frightening degree.

Tyler is moving closer now, concern seeping through his actions. And that's just a little too much for Jeremy right now.

"Stop," he starts and then Tyler stops mid-step then, not wanting to upset him, "don't lie. I-I don't understand. What?" He cocks his head to side, confused and frazzled.

It's Tyler turn then, to be confused. A face scrunched in disbelief he answers, "What don't you understand?"

Jeremy closes his eyes, breathing in deep, trying to make sense of all of this. "Everything," he breathes out quietly, barely audible. Just enough for Tyler to hear.

Sympathetic eyes fall to Jeremy, completely too understanding.

"I know what you mean," Tyler says, shoulders slightly slumping, "I barely do. I just know what is and I thought I should tell you. Because you deserve that don't you? To know that?"

Jeremy's silent, thinking it over. And Tyler is still, too afraid to move, awaiting his answer.

"So, last week," he started, "when you kissed me -"

Tyler cut him off then, "I meant it! I'd been wanting that for a long time before that. I went crazy thinking about you. You invaded everything. Everything! And the alcohol...I don't know, it somehow helped me to do what I was too afraid to do on my own." Tyler said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"Really?" Jeremy asked, still thinking it all to be impossible.

"Yes," Tyler all but screams. "What do I have to do to make you believe me? I'd kiss you and hold you if I wasn't so sure you would just push me away."

Releasing a sigh, Jeremy agrees with him, "And you would be right. I'm not going into this, if this is even what you really want, unless I'm absolutely sure that this is what you want."

"It is," Tyler cuts in.

"Let me finish," Jeremy says. "Because I want this Tyler. I want you. And I don't want this to be a one-off because your suddenly into guys and I just happen to be the first notch on your newly gay bed post. I won't. I can't..." his voice drips off then, focusing his attention on the look on Tyler's face and awaiting his reply. His palms are sweaty now, nervousness seeping through his glands.

And then comes Tyler's reply, "Ok."

"Ok?" Jeremy asks, visibly confused.

"Yes, ok. I know this isn't what you think it is. I _know _it isn't. But I'll indulge you and your fears and take this slow like you want to."

"Ok," Jeremy says slowly.

And then they're silent and inches apart, itching to touch one another, but neither giving into temptation. One: because Jeremy's afraid it would lead Tyler to think that everything that he just said was all for naught. And two: because Tyler's afraid it would send Jeremy spiraling in the direction he doesn't want him going to: away from him.

It's Tyler who breaks the silence, "So," he drags the word to emphasize the awkwardness between the two. "Date?" he finishes with a question.

Jeremy, who had been avoiding eye contact, looks up then and asks, "Date?"

"Yeah, date. Me, you, dinner and a movie? Tomorrow night?"

Jeremy just blinks. Tomorrow night? So soon? He's about to say no, that it was a little too soon, way too fast, when the hopeful and pleading look in his eyes distracts him and he finds himself agreeing to the date The grin Tyler replaces his face with does not disappoint.

Jeremy thinks to himself, "God, if you do exist, please help me...because he'll be the end of me, I swear."

And Jeremy returns with a soft smile.

Tyler's smile reaches his eyes and it's a little too intoxicating for Jeremy.

With hopeful eyes Tyler asks, "Can I kiss you now?"

Face serious now, Jeremy answers flatly, "No."

* * *

_**What's this? I actually wrote another Chapter in advance? GO ME! jk **_

_**Stay tuned for Chapter 9. It'll be up soon. Some final editing is in order. **_

_**-passion  
**_


	9. Neither This, Nor That

_**A/N: I was going for some kind of humor, first time with that (tell me how I did), with some seriousness thrown in.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

_**We'll Be A Dream**_  
_**Neither This, Nor That  
**_

Tossing another shirt behind him, along with all the others he deemed 'not good enough', Tyler continued to pilfer through his top drawer. "No, not this one either," he says with finality, slamming the drawer shut and moving to his closet, he continues making a mess of his expensive apparel, disappearing further into the walk-in closet.

Matt Donovan, currently stationed at the edge of Tyler's bed, sits with a curiously amused look on his face.

"God, Tyler, if I knew you were going to be such a girl, I would have found something else to do today." Matt smiles at his own joke.

Poking his head out from inside of his closet, Tyler gives Matt a pointed look. Matt returns with an audible laugh that echoes through the room. Tyler rightfully gives him the finger, which only makes Matt laugh harder, and disappears back into the closet.

Minutes have passed and Matt is visibly bored, stretched out on his back atop of Tyler's bed, which is way too big for two people. Let alone one person, he muses.

"I still don't get it, Ty," he calls out, hoping Tyler will hear him from within the depths of what could be considered another room, "since when are you into guys, anyway?"

Tyler emerges then, from the depths of god knows where, two shirts in hand. "I don't think I am. It's...it's just Jeremy," he says. "Not even girls anymore. Though, I'm starting to reconsider if I ever really liked them at all."

Matt smiles then, feeling a joke coming on, "Are girls icky, Tyler?"

Tyler sort of smiles then, too, "Actually, yes. Yes, they are."

A moment passes between the two, when nothing is said. The tension palpable.

And then it's broken with raucous laughter from the both of them. And just like that, all is well again.

"Seriously, Ty," Matt asks again. Just to be sure. He doesn't want Jeremy to be hurt by Tyler. Jeremy is his friend, too. Though he doesn't show it like he knows he should. Jeremy's like a brother, his little brother, whose the brother of the girl he used to love and does not want to piss off. So he asks again, just to be sure.

And Tyler has a history. Everyone knows it, Matt more than anyone. And Matt is seriously contemplating on talking to Jeremy about this. Because despite Tyler's explanations and reassurances, he is still unsure and a bit apprehensive about this whole situation.

"Seriously," is Tyler's answer. He says it in a way that tells Matt that he means it. It's his eyes that tell him so. It looks the same as it does when he's determined and focused on his goal. Like on the football field, or when he's drawing or actually concentrating on his school work. It was the same as all those other times. it was actually kind of scary sometimes. It was downright intimidating, especially in the field.

Holding up the shirts he had plucked from inside of his closet, Tyler shakes them asking Matt's opinion.

The disgusted look on Matt's face tells Tyler all he needs to know and he throws both items up in the air, only for them to land not-so-subtly atop of the others.

Throwing his hands up in defeat, face towards the ceiling, Tyler screams, "I give up!"

Matt laughs again. "Honestly, Tyler, I don't think Jeremy is going to care too much. I mean, he's into guys too," he leaves out the 'probably' part, because he doesn't really know, for Tylers sake, "but he doesn't exactly strike me as the type of guy who would give two shits about wether you're wearing a button-down or a regular t-shirt. Or a v-neck for that matter. Seriously, Ty? V-necks?"

"They were a gift," Tyler tells him. "It's not like I went out and bought them. Have you ever even seen me wear them?"

Matt thinks, "No, I guess not."

"Exactly."

A moment passes before Matt's sure it's okay the broach the subject he really wants to talk about. "But, back to the icky girls issue."

"Matt," Tyler warned.

"What," Matt asks. "I'm just asking to be sure that you're sure Tyler. Jeremy's my friend, and you two have history. Violent history, Ty."

Tyler looks pissed off now. "I know that!" he snaps. "But, this - this feeling, these feelings I have for him now; they're different from before. So different. I think about him. All the time. And I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him."

Matt gives him a strange look at that last one.

Tyler continues, "And I know what you're going to say, but I know what I feel now. And I think he feels the same way. I hope he does. I need him to. I wanna see where this goes, because I have the strongest feeling that if he would let me, we'd be great."

Tyler's sitting across from Matt now, "I know we have a rocky past. That things between us were bloody and violent and I'm sorry for that. I need him to see that; for him to know that I am sorry."

Matt was speechless. That wasn't exactly what he was expecting. He really wasn't expecting much, but that sure as hell wasn't it. Something was different about Tyler. This thing he feels for Jeremy; its real. That much he knows. And if he really thinks about it, he knows that Jeremy would be good for Tyler, if they ever got together, that is.

If they could get passed the first date. But at the pace Tyler was going, he's seriously starting doubt he would even make it in time.

"So you're ok with this?" Tyler breaks the silence that has overcome them, "me and Jeremy?"

"Is there even a 'you and Jeremy?'" Matt jokes.

"I hope so..."

Matt smiles then, "Yeah, I'm cool." Tyler smiles too. "But if you hurt him, Ty, I'm kicking your ass."

"Fair enough."

* * *

_**A/N: I so loved making Tyler all antsy and nervous. He's totally acting out of character and its cute. Tyler has so much clothes, he has no idea what to do with it. I'm working under the assumption that he doesn't do ALL of his shopping. **_

_**Protective Matt - nuff said. lol**_

_**I hope you like it. R&R**_

_**-passion**_


	10. Parental Advisory

_**We**__**'**__**ll **__**Be **__**A **__**Dream**_

_**Chapter**__** 10: **__**Parental **__**Advisory**_

**Jeremy**

He was almost out the door. Almost.

"And where do you think you're going, Jeremy?" Jenna asks from her place in the hallway as his hand grasps the handle of the large door in front of him.

"Damn," he thinks to himself. "Almost made it."

He lets out an annoyed sigh, just loud enough to get his point across to his aunt. Figures. She apparently had a sixth sense when it came to him now. When he really didn't want her to.

Parental units... so damn annoying.

"Just," he turns to face her and shrugs, "out."

"Out?" she questions. "Did you forget about the new rules?"

Jeremy rolls his eyes in continued annoyance. She doesn't need to know about the countless of times he's snuck out before this. She should be glad he's actually using the front door; she'd probably freak about him hurting himself from launching off from his bedroom window. He really doesn't have the time to be playing twenty questions with his aunt at the moment. No time at all.

"No, Jenna. I just - I have somewhere to be."

"Where are you going?" she asks. "What will you be doing?"

"I - " he struggled for the words, not wanting to reveal just where he was going and with whom he was going to be doing it with. "I'd rather not say just yet."

Her raised eyebrows, pursed lips and incredulous look clarify her annoyance and confusion with his vague answer to her question.

"And why not?" she asks. Her crossed arms show her impatience.

He'd rather not tell her what he was planning on doing the rest of his evening, but he figured it would be best not to _completely_ lie to his aunt Jenna. Whom has done the best she can in taking care of him and his sister after his parents' passing. He would rather not spoil what little freedom he already has.

She starts again softly, "Jeremy, if this is about dru -."

"It's not about drugs or hurting myself again, Jenna." he cuts her off. "I promise. Please believe me."

"I'd like to, Jeremy. I really would," she says through an exasperated sigh and a sullen look across her pretty features. "I can't - Jeremy, I just can't go through that again. And neither can your sister." her eyes are tearing up by the time she breaths the final words.

A rush of guilt passes through Jeremy and he's suddenly regretful for the party a few weeks back. The one where a lot of things changed. The one he won't soon forget.

Jeremy closes the distance between his aunt and him, grabbing hold of her hands in his and says to her, "I promise. I won't ever do any of those things again."

He only hoped that he sounded as sincere as he felt. Because he meant it. He really did.

It was then, at that moment as he held his aunt in arms, keeping her from crumbling under her own emotions at his own doing that he was going to have to tell her the truth. Well, a half truth.

He couldn't very well tell her with whom he was doing it with, without her ranting on about my his past abuser. It just wouldn't do.

"I'm going on a date," he says breathlessly. And he instantly felt a small amount of relief. A little more relaxed.

A part of him felt restricted, tight at keeping everything inside. At keeping himself and his thoughts hidden from the world. And now a smaller part of him felt better.

He'd have to have a talk with Tyler about this, if he was serious about the two of them. Secrets and hidden emotions poison the soul.

The look on her face would have been funny if it wasn't directed at the thought of him actually going on a date.

"A date?" she asks. "Like a date _date_?" Her face is unreadable at this point, but still shocked.

He smiles then, "yes, Jenna. A date _date_."

And nows he's feeling a little embarrassed and ashamed because he hasn't told her the whole truth. But still, embarrassed, because snow she's showering him with compliments and congratulatory thumbs up. It seems she's proud of him for such a small little thing, he doesn't really get it. But he's so not going to ruin this for her.

In that moment, though, he feels alive, more human than he has in a while. And he thinks that that's probably why his aunt is so excited for him.

That he's doing something so normal for a young man his age, like he's finally becoming a normal person. Becoming a normal person again.

And he can't exactly argue with that interpretation, because thats sort of how he's feeling and it feels good.

And he decides then, that no matter how his date with Tyler goes, good or bad, that he wasn't going to let it destroy him. He was going to be strong and not let the poison of depression and drugs get the better of him. He was going to do it Jenna and Elena, for his parents. But mostly for himself. And maybe for Tyler.

Maybe.

"Who's the lucky girl?" she asks after she calms down. "What will you be doing?"

He hesitates. "U - um," he stutters, "you don't know her. And I don't know - it's kind of complicated. Please, don't ask."

"Jere," her tone is warning and skeptic and he understands, he really does but he's not completely ready to come out to his aunt just yet. Let alone tell her that the guy he's currently going out on a date with, is his ex bully.

"I - I just don't want to jinx it, aunt Jenna." he finally thinks to say, hoping it would calm her suspicions. He can tell it doesn't help much.

And now he's shivering with anxiety, trying to divert her questioning stare away from himself.

"I'll be home by curfew, I promise. And if I'm even a minute late you can search me and submit me to a drug test. Whatever you want." he says.

She sighs, "Fine."

He hugs her then, embraces his aunt, grateful for her

P understanding. "Thank you so much! And it's just dinner and a movie and I'll be home a little after that. I promise."

"Look at you, Jeremy, all excited." shes smiling as she says it, too.

And he tries desperately not to blush a deep shade of pink.

Jenna's grinning wide, in a playful and teasing manner, and he's now totally embarrassed. He shifts under her peering gaze and finds that the floor beneath him is a more enjoyable piece of scenery than his aunts pretty face.

If only for the time being because shes being an insufferable teaser and he wishes that she would just stop because now she's making him nervous.

Jeremy was nervous before, but now for some reason, he was even more nervous about his date with Tyler.

"Thanks a lot, aunt Jenna!" he thinks to himself. "Thanks a lot!"

**Tyler**

He was almost out the door. Almost.

"And just where do you think you're going, Tyler Lockwood?" his mother questions as his fingers brush against the handle of the front door.

The front door currently leading to his exit - his much needed escape.

Parental units... so damn annoying.

He releases the door knob reluctantly and turns to face his mother with an unamused look. And he doesn't know how to answer her because nobody knows about this but Matt. And he definitely doesn't want anyone else to know. Not his mother, not other people and especially not his father. Anyone _but_ his father.

He gives her a half-hearted shrug before saying, "Just - out."

Like its the most obvious thing in the world. And it is. Well, it should be, because if he's halfway out of their house, it should be painfully obvious. Even to his alcoholic of a mother. That he wants to be anywhere but in the lonely house (or mansion as everybody else likes to call it) they all call home.

And it's what he does every night. Goes out. Hangs out. Gets drunk. Gets high. Orgasms - usually. They haven't cared before - but, of course, on the nights of all nights his mother decides she cares. He just doesn't know if its the liquor she's consumed already and she's just fucking around or if her conscious mind is actually there and actually cares.

He doesn't really care either way.

He's got more important things to worry about. To think about.

"Out?" she asks with a slight slur and a confused look on her face. Then she starts giggling like a little schoolgirl as if Tyler had just said the funniest thing ever. "Out to...?"

Tyler rolls his eyes.

"Yeah..." he drawls, "you're definitely drunk. What was it this time?"

He goes to her then as she's not completely balanced and holds her to keep her from falling on her face.

"Tequila," she says, "and lots of it!" She giggles at her own joke. Though he doesn't know what it is, nor does he care. "You never answered me, Tyler."

Her tone begins a little threatening, but its masked by her drunken stupor.

"Just out..." he answers.

"With a girl?"

And he freezes then, unsure of how to answer. On one hand, he could tell her as she's drunk and most likely won't remember it and him saying it out loud again would likely relieve some of his stress and anxiety. But on the off-chance that she does remember - highly unlikely that it would bode well for him.

So he answers, "Out." And the irony of that word is almost funny enough to warrant a deep humorous laugh from himself if not for the situation at hand.

She's giggling again, like she knows all of his secrets and it scares him but he dare not question it.

He helps her to her room, puts her on the bed, pulls the covers over her as she's mumbling into the pillow, and finds one of the maids to tell them to keep an eye on his mother because she's been in the liquor cabinet again.

And he's out the door, in his car driving away from his so-called home, away from his drunken mother faster than he means to.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not exactly happy with this, but whatever. It's been way too long, and I couldn't see myself doing anything more with this chapter. It's probably going to be a while before chapter 11 comes out. I'll try my best for those of you who are still with me. **

**peace and love:**

**-passion**


End file.
